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WHAT BEING A FEMINIST MEANS TO ME AS A MARRIED WOMAN | QUEENBEADY

September 8, 2017

feminist as a married woman

Jacket Vintage M&S on eBay (similar) | Shirt Hobbs from St Gemmas Hospice (similar) | Jeans Anita & Green (similar) | Bag c/o  Radley  | Watch Larsson & Jennings | Trainers Vans | Photography Alex Ivory  

I am here for all the independent women. Praise the lord for all the strong, sassy, wonderful, kind women in my life that I know. But, I’ve been thinking about something recently. In fact, it’s something that plays on my mind, a lot. To me, feminism is so many things. But most importantly it’s the freedom of choice that makes me want to celebrate being a Feminist. Even in 2K17 I find myself interrupting men on a regular basis, reminding them that what they have said is pretty misogynist – trying to educate some can be pretty hard going but those are the first steps.

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I’m a wife. I love being a wife. I do like the connotations of being a wife too, (how many times can I say wife in one post?) The idea of playing house actually excites me a little. And, the whole part that is loving and caring for the person I want to spend the rest of my life with makes me pretty happy too. But, despite what some people may say, that doesn’t make me any less of  a feminist because I enjoy doing certain things for my husband and vice versa. And not least just because I’m a woman. I do them because I want to. And as a feminist I choose to do the things I want to do without fear of repercussion. It’s all about  that freedom of choice to say, “look, this is what I’m about to do and it has nothing to do with my genitals.”

On Twitter the other day I saw a tweet that basically said if you are gonna change your surname to your husband’s name when you marry you can rule yourself exempt from the feminist group. Wow. Just wow. I’m not going to not make my husband his dinner or not change my name just because the laws of feminism say I shouldn’t. I will always do what I want to do. No-one will ever stop that, no man, no woman or anyone that tells me I shouldn’t. Isn’t that what being a feminist is all about? Not conforming?

Yet seemingly I’ve found that to not conform is by conforming to a set of conformed feminist rules that dictate what you can and can’t do to qualify as a feminist.

Doesn’t that seem a little, somewhat, backwards?

Please don’t feel you need to speak on behalf of me just because I’m married.

I call bullshit.

I cook and I clean, and funnily enough, so does my husband (okay, the latter not so well.) But, I think as a mid-twenty something year old couple we are still finding the lay of the land of what works best in our household. Does it really matter if you carry out more “female related tasks” around the house or do I get worried about my right to be a feminist because I asked my husband to take a look at my car because I heard some funny noises coming from it? goddamnit, his trade is in the motor industry so of course I’m going to get his professional opinion on something like that. My vagina doesn’t actually dictate my requests when I ask someone to take on what is considered a “more manly” task.

But, having said that I will always ask or learn skills that are deemed masculine. And hell, I might not be good at them or even ever do them again but at least I can say I tried, right?

What I will say is that what I don’t like are men who abuse their positions in society just because they are male. Those who make scathing comments about women, those who think that they are better than women, just because they are a man. That I will never be on board with. And, if ever done in front of me, hell hath no fury like a woman scorned (I think that’s they saying.) You bet I’m coming for your ass to tell you why you did or said is wrong.

Woman are stronger as one unit. No matter how much you feel you give to the cause, don’t ever stop and keep believing in equality. It’s not about one upmanship, ever. It’s about solidarity and never underestimating the opposite sex or even the same sex, because we all have amazing things to give to the world and we can all live by our own terms (so long as you aren’t being a sexist pig, am I right?)

Have you ever thought about feminism and how you contribute to it in society? Do you feel slightly threatened by feminism that identifies as a feminist whilst you are married?

(I had to write another sentence because it finished on 666 word count and I just couldn’t do that to myself, so excuse this awfully, random last sentence!)

Bee
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