All of my life I’ve known I’m a little bit quirky, a little bit different. I never liked to follow the herd. And often, I felt like I was penalised for that. Going through school despite having lots of friends there were still some god awful people out there. I’ll always vividly remember someone coming up to me on the school playing fields, grabbing my hair and pulling me in to a crowd of people to try beat me up. The reason for it, I was never quite sure of. I’ll also never forget the moment an older school girl smashed my head on a metal bar on the school bus because her brother was also picking on me. I’ve sadly had to face facts that there will always be someone, somewhere not liking me.
There’s the old friend that somehow in her new friendship group decides to delete you and block you on all social media despite never quite knowing exactly what you have done to deserve it. There’s a local service provider I know, who for some reason when I walk in to her establishment she gives me the filthiest look every single time. And generally, through all walks of life there will be the people who will bad mouth you for no reason whatsoever.
When you find yourself faced with things like this, it’s hard not to start worrying if it’s you? The constant questioning, wondering if you have actually done something to offend these people to make them dislike you so much. And, on more than one occasion has beaten me down to a point where I’ve had zero confidence about who I am. It’s not a nice place to be.
I posted a little quote over on Twitter a while ago, and so many people rushed to say “but how can anyone not like you?” which is so very reassuring in the darkest of times. But, truth be told, the blogging community is the first community (bar some of my family and friends) where I have felt totally, utterly 100% happy with letting myself just be me. It’s helped me learn to trust people, to believe that there are plenty of good people out there (especially to outweigh the bad eggs!) and who want to be my actual IRL pals.
I know, crazy right?!
Over the course of the last six months I have made some changes to my life, such as changing my job, doing more exercise and generally taking more leaps with my blog, that have all definitely contributed to me feeling a lot more at ease with who I am. By surrounding myself in recent times with people who have my best interests at heart are what help me cope with it.
I’m much stronger at voicing my own opinion in a confident yet not bolshie manner, I’m content with the fact I’ve done everything I can in my power to be as nice to those who I have aforementioned don’t like me and I’ve grown thicker skin by accepting and saying, “I’m not sorry, because it’s you, not me.”
It would be very easy for me to block people out of my life, and trust me, I’ve shut down to so many people in the past when my mental health was at an all time low. But by realising that for every person that is there to try and tear you down and make you feel worthless, there’s about ten more who are cheering for and with you. Celebrating your successes with you. Laughing when you laugh and crying when you cry. Those are the people you need in your life.
Trying to combat the haters is never an easy thing to do, my 15 year old self would cry and worry about how someone was treating her and to some extent, I will always be a worrier it’s in my nature, but you have to remember the following…
“What Susie says about Sally, says more about Sally than Susie.”
A mantra, that I will always live by.
How do you cope with being a sensitive person? Do you let it bother you or do you take a no-nonsense approach? (Like I’m starting to!)
I'm Bee. 27 year old who is finally starting to understand herself. A Scorpio that's too nice to use that sting in her tail, regularly found searching for holidays or online shopping. Happiest when being fed, travelling & spending time with Mr C.