I’m sure, most people who read this blog are bloggers too so I know you’ll understand when I say, “GIRL, I AM STUCK IN A RUT.” Every now & then throughout the year I find myself really struggling for content. My mind closes up on me and says “Not today Bee. Not today.” meaning no amount of word vomiting can create a coherent blog post. Except, I know I’m word vomiting now about not being able to word vomit. Sorry, did I just “inception” you right there? We’ve all been there. Some weeks I could create content for days and have scheduled posts ready and raring to go at every turn, except recently I’ve hit my half-yearly slump.
And girl, I know I look fabulous in this outfit. (Oops sorry that’s my inner drag queen talking!) I well & truly worked the Hawes & Curtis shirt and Boohoo Pinafore dress combo, but I’m feeling less inspired than a piece of haddock. ‘Cos let’s face it, haddock is probably the dullest fish I know. Even trout got more taste about it. Do you know what I’m saying? Whilst I work it in these photos (thanks to the lovely Laura) my brain has switched off. Over & out. That lightbulb has firmly been switched off. I guess it’s because I’m also back of the exercise train. A few nights a week are spent at the gym, the rest are dedicated to Ru Paul marathons. I’m keeping myself entertained in other ways.
I try not to beat myself up about it, because, as the saying goes “we’re only human!” and rightly so. This domain isn’t my full time job, it’s a hobby that comes with some amazing perks. I guess I’m feeling a mixture of being unsettled with certain things that are going on in my life and desperate for Leeds Fest and our week away to the Dominican Republic in September. I’m pining for the future. And bingo, ding ding ding, we have a winner. That’s the problem. I need to live for the now. Whilst I think I’m doing it, I need to live in the moment a little bit more when life is a little bit “mundane” or not as exciting as it could be. Life isn’t always going to be parties, holidays & eating out. Ya sometimes gotta do the boring stuff, too. I know I have a lot of growing up & adulting to do.
I feel like Peter pan sometimes, I don’t wanna grow up but I also want to be seen as grown up. Goddamit conflicting wants & needs, why ya gotta do that to me? I guess I have to realise it’s okay to act dorky every once in a while and understand that I sometimes will have to roll my socks up and act a little bit maturely (oh shucks, really?) but the fact of the matter is, I am what I am and that’s okay. I’m gonna bring the fierceness and keep on doing what I’m doing.
So, the moral of today’s blog post is, when you haven’t got anything interesting to say, word vomit shall do. Ta ta for now folks.
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