Leather Jacket Topshop | Denim Dress ASOS | Boots Ted & Muffy | Watch Larsson & Jennings | Bag From Italy
I’ve been racking my brains for the last 2 or 3 weeks wondering where the hell my desire to create content for this blog has gone. I mean really soul searching. It’s an outlet that I have loved for many years but slowly I’ve just fallen a little bit out of love with it. There was no tearful arguments or mixed words, I just drifted from it. I do still love it dearly despite mentioning my love diminished for this little space on the web but I just needed to take a backseat for the sake of my own sanity and health. I look at these photos and think my goodness, “I look healthy & happy.” That’s all I want to ever be in life.
With me missing numerous days of not posting, I’ve noticed a huge decline in reading numbers since my blog has been a little stagnant, I expected it to. No-one wants to come back to keep reading the same old stuff so I haven’t let it effect me. Gone are the days where I religiously checked my stats on the hour every hour, or created my tweetdeck list of tweets that would be blasted all day, erryday to my twitter followers. Instead I took to instagram to just snap away little photos and snippets of my day, with a line or two about what I was thinking.
I even cut out Twitter. Okay, well not completely cut it out. I have been tweeting at most 5 times a day which is a massive step back for the gal who usually has my iPhone glued to my hand and the twitter app constantly on refresh. I just couldn’t be doing with the negativity and arguments (or so aptly tried to be disguided as “healthy discussion.”) I just couldn’t care for playground antics all over my feed each & every day.
I’ve been complaining a lot recently too, I’m not sure whether I want to apologise for being such a negative Nelly or not? A massive shake up of my place of work has put “the shits” in to me. Working constantly and feeling like I don’t ever get a breather from staring at my laptop, that the last thing I want to do at night is sit in front of another computer screen trying to write something witty or insightful because truth be told I just haven’t been feeling that way inclined. It’s less than two weeks till my holiday to Madeira and I don’t know if I’m in shut down mode. I’ve been feeling ill for the last week too which just hasn’t helped any matters. I really am a “half empty” kinda person at the moment. What happened to the “mindfulness” path that I tried to ensue?
Recently when I’ve been writing these kind of posts a rush of comments have come in telling me that people are feeling the same. I just wanna know how to get out of this awful mood swing that just seems to be lasting forever & a day? PLEZZZZ HELP MEHHHHH. I genuinely thought giving myself the break away from the blog and social media would give me a much needed breather and things would be on track to feeling much happier. Albeit, swigging 3/4 of a bottle of gin on Saturday night really did the trick (don’t drink kids!) for me – I escaped for an evening.
Maybe I have missed my little blog. That this shiny little page is my escapism that I need. So I’m going to make an effort to get back in to the swing of things and make sure I make myself much happier because goodness, I don’t want you coming on here for a bore fest all the time when I do post. But sometimes I just feel like I need to use this place almost as though it were a diary. I’m hoping a much needed week off and break in the sun is gonna do just the trick. I don’t want to make empty promises but I feel that once I have this little holiday I’ll be back to a much smilier, happier, back-to-my-old-self, Bee again, just like in these photos and I can’t wait.
Bee xxx
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Photo Credit: Jessica Jane
