You may have realised (although, I’d be a total ass to assume you had, so maybe you haven’t) that this blog has fallen by the way side (yet again.) It’s not for the want of trying to give it the time it truly deserves but it’s the fitting it in that’s becoming the chore. When life takes over, I generally find it so hard to juggle everything. Work, personal and social time, my blogging and all the social media that comes with it, the micro blogging on Instagram, walking my dog, exercising, feeding myself. All things (and more!) that I so desperately want to fit in to each day. But, I need more than 24 hours in a day to do it all. And feel human after it all.
These photos were taken a month ago. A whole month has passed by with this sitting in my drafts, waiting for words to be added to it. I just haven’t had a second to myself to really sit down and write the words that need to go for it.
Admitting that I’m struggling with everything going on in my life at the moment isn’t a weakness. I haven’t broken down crying, I haven’t had a meltdown. Far from it. I just knew a lot sooner this time that something had to give. I noticed the signs, no desire to work out, feeling tired, even reaching towards alcohol more at home (which is something I don’t ever really do!) – the signs were all there that I needed to slow down.
My thrice daily posts on Instagram, fell to one, then to one every few days and then boom, once a week. I couldn’t keep up. I had nothing exciting to say to world other than, “hey look at me, works busy, like really busy. Not sure when I’m gonna stop to take breath but hey, I’m busy.” – no-one needs to see, hear or read about something so mundane, so I bit the bullet and just had to take a break.
There haven’t been many tweets and it looks like I’m being rude when I don’t reply instantly like I used to. Notifications have just gone off and I have to prioritise my work over that. It’s simple.
Sometimes, mental health can look to some as a weakness. It’s not. It’s a chemical reaction. It’s all in the science. What I need during these times are friends who understand that my mind can only process a certain amount of things at once and that weekly dinners & drinks, long phone calls might just have to go out of the window every once in a while. And it’s great, that luckily I have friends who completely understand that. A little text every once in a while to check in is lovely. It shows you have friends who do care about you, but know that there’s not a huge amount of brain capacity that can sit texting/calling all day when life get’s busy. Sometimes it’s the kind gestures, sending a unique card & a little handwritten message from Moonpig can really let those who struggle know that you are there for them every step of the way.
It’s not only work that is taking a vast amount of time at the moment, I’ve finally bitten the bullet and cracked on with one of my “30 by 30” goals and that’s that I have started my driving lessons. And update: they aren’t going as horrifically bad as I thought they would be. I have a really patient, female instructor who gives great advice and instils me with more confidence to be good at it. Fingers crossed I’ll be tootling along before spring is out and I can actually start living a more “free life” without relying on everyone else / public transport.
My blog has fallen by the way-side, it does make me sad because writing and curating beautiful images are what I enjoy and live for. I know it might seem like I’m lost and a little afraid of taking on too much but I am here to be found. Don’t be afraid to cut something down if you feel overwhelmed. Give yourself that well-earned rest from whatever it is and come back feeling more revitalised than ever.
I'm Bee. 27 year old who is finally starting to understand herself. A Scorpio that's too nice to use that sting in her tail, regularly found searching for holidays or online shopping. Happiest when being fed, travelling & spending time with Mr C.